• picture by frances monaghan 2009

  • Picture by Frances Monaghan 2005

  • Tabea Rudolph, 26, Stuttgart

    There are problems in the woods. The animals of the forest are always drunk, so the fox decides to ban alcohol. The following day, the fox spies a rabbit hanging out of a tree, clearly wasted. The fox ticks him off, and carries on his way. But the next day he sees the rabbit drunk again, and gives him a final warning. The next day, the fox does his rounds and there’s no sign of the rabbit, but he notices a straw sticking out of a stream. Wondering what it is, the fox scoops it out, only to find a very drunk rabbit on the other end of it. “How many times do I have to tell you that animals of the forest aren’t allowed alcohol?” says the Fox. “We fishes don’t give a toss what the animals of the forest aren’t allowed to do,” says the rabbit

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/germany/article/0,,1781004,00.html

  • When I first started playing guitar I was ultimately frustrated that I couldn’t play the songs that I heard on the radio unless someone showed me how. This was pretty tough, seeing as this was before the days of the Internet and guitar publications and because I was raised by a pack of roaming wolves who were completely tone deaf.

    Then out of desperation I sat down with a tune I knew pretty well but didn’t know how to play (I think it was an REO Speedwagon tune) I fiddled around and poked and experimented and finally after three days of trying…got it completely wrong.

    But the silver lining to my otherwise gray cloud was that I figured out what it takes to pick up tunes by ear. It just takes time. The more you try to pick out tunes by ear, the better you get I promise.

    Chords

    So how do you do it? Well first I listen closely a few times to the CD and get the general feel for the song, the layout, the sections, the different instruments, etc. Then I sit down with my guitar and pick out the bass line, or even just the bass notes to the chord changes. This may take a while if the bass is tough to hear. Sometimes headphones help. The thing about bass notes is that there are no majors, minors, sevenths, suspensions or anything like that to confuse you when you’re just getting started. I just start at the open E and continue up and down the string trying each note until one fits. I usually try the common (E A D C and G) first. Then I restart the CD and narrow it down even more, until I have the first note, then the second, then the third. This process usually drives my wife crazy because now she has heard the first part of the song 14 times. So you might want to consider headphones.

    So once I have the bass notes I play along with the CD and just play the bass notes. I’ll also try experimenting with other notes in case I am not sure of some of the notes. I often pick out a note a fifth up from the actual bass note and think its right…until I poke around a bit more and play the right one.

    With bass notes…you’ll lnow when its right.

    So now I have the chord changes. Now comes the easy part. If your tune is a contemporary rock tune then most likely the chords for those bass notes are either major or minor. Admittedly it is the minority of bands that employ a more intricate chord selection than these few. Be careful of bands like STP who use very creative chords.

    So now I just try adding in major chords to each of the bass notes that I had previously figures out. Certain ones will fit, others won’t. For those that don’t, try playing a minor chord and see if it fits better, sometimes the difference is subtle. Try them both anyway.

    There are times in songs when you hear a guitar chord change but the bass doesn’t. In this case the chords may be suspended chords that resolve to the bass note chord. These are tremendoucly common in rock guitar. They usually will be a suspended 2 or 4 chord. You can learn to recognize these by the lack of of a bass note change. The alternate to that is when the bass note changes and the chord doesn’t seem to change. This could be a mistake by the bass player, uh…just kidding….more likely is a chord with an altered bass note. Like playing a C major then a C/B to AM7. The C major sounds the same throughout but the bass line descends.

    Listen closely for notes that ring throughout chord changes. Finding a common tone between two chords might help you find the chord type and fingering. Usually open strings sound different and are easy to pick out. Certain chord progressions have common notes. An example is a D sus 2 (or D9 or Dadd9) to E to F#m7 progresssion. The common note is E (This is the chord progression to “Hey Jealousy” by Gin blossoms.)

    It also helps to know a bit about the band. Does the guitarist tune up or down, or to a different key, or use a capo? Are there certain chord fingerings that they use often.? By the way don’t try to pick out and Michael Hedges tunes until you get real good.

    For more complicated tunes and tunes with lots of chord changes you’ll have to just keep working and listening very closely for the subtetlies.

    Melodies.

    By now you may very likely have the chords to the tune all figured out. But now there may be a melody to figure out too. The trick to melodies is to get the first note. After that it gets easier. Pick out the first note of the melody just like you did the bass line. Pick a note on your guitar and figure out if it is higher or lower than the first note of the melody. Or maybe another salient note in the melody is easier.

    The chords will tell you what key you’re in. From there you can play around in the major or minor scale in that key and find the notes that fit. Listen to the character of the string used to get the fingering. The same pitch will sound brighter if played on the higher strings at a lower fret as opposed to a lower string at a higher fret.

    Solo

    This works the same for solos. Once you know the chords noodle around with the appropriate pentatonic scale until you get the general feel for the solo. Start with the root note (high or low) and proceed from there. If the guitarist uses scales more interesting than the pentatonic (hopefully) then try the major or minor scale for starters.

    Don’t get too hung up on scales though. There is nothing that says that the notes in the solo have to be in a particular scale….this is art and the rules are meant to be broken.

    After a while of doing this with a number of different songs you will get to the point where you can play a chord progression and melody on your first or second try (really, you will.) At first you may get a few of the notes wrong, but as you continue to play the tune you will make improvements to your transcription and your ear in general.

    Try picking out a song in your head. Play the star spangled banner from memory, or pomp and circumstance. It is very useful to be able to play a melody that you hear in your head. Don’t worry about what note to start on or what scale to use. If you are playing from memory it doesn’t matter, just play the notes you hear in your head and fiddle aroud until you get the melody right.

    Remember that, as in life, learning music is pyramidal.Everything builds on top of what has been previously learned. A solid foundation is essential to proper progress…and that takes time. Be patient, yet persistent. Push yourself, and reward yourself for all your successes.

    Figuring out tunes on your own is very rewarding. If you cant seem to get the tune down one day, try again another day. Keep working at it, and soon you will be posting tunes to this newsgroup.

    Mike Livengood 1997.

  • How do you tell if you are a true Aussie?

    Richard Glover, the Sydney Morning Herald
    January 26, 2008

    TODAY you’ll probably want to party, celebrating all the things that make us unique. But how do you tell if you are a true Aussie? Here are my 43 top ways to tell if you’re a local.

    You know you’re Australian if …

    1. You know the meaning of the word “girt”.

    2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.

    3. You think it’s normal to have a leader called Kevin.

    4. You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse.

    5. You’ve made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.

    6. You believe it is appropriate to put a rubber in your son’s pencil case when he first attends school.

    7. When you hear that an American “roots for his team” you wonder how often and with whom.

    8. You understand that the phrase “a group of women wearing black thongs” refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.

    9. You pronounce Melbourne as “Mel-bin”.

    10. You pronounce Penrith as “Pen-riff”.

    11. You believe the “l” in the word “Australia” is optional.

    12. You can translate: “Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.”

    13. You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.

    14. You call your best friend “a total bastard” but someone you really, truly despise is just “a bit of a bastard”.

    15. You think “Woolloomooloo” is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.

    16. You’re secretly proud of our killer wildlife.

    17. You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that’s twice as big as its $2 coin.

    18. You understand that “Wagga Wagga” can be abbreviated to “Wagga” but “Woy Woy” can’t be called “Woy”.

    19. You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread.

    20. You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.

    21. Hamburger. Beetroot. Of course.

    22. You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels’ song Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again.

    23. You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.

    24. You still don’t get why the “Labor” in “Australian Labor Party” is not spelt with a “u”.

    25. You wear ugh boots outside the house.

    26. You believe, as an article of faith, that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.

    27. You believe that the more you shorten someone’s name the more you like them.

    28. Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.

    29. You understand that “excuse me” can sound rude, while “scuse me” is always polite.

    30. You know what it’s like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.

    31. You understand that “you” has a plural and that it’s “youse”.

    32. You know it’s not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.

    33. Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.

    34. You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call “Anzac cookies”.

    35. You still think of Kylie as “that girl off Neighbours”.

    36. When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs – just in case you’re trying to sneak in fruit.

    37. You believe the phrase “smart casual” refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered.

    38. You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction.

    39. When working on a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.

    40. You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second.

    41. You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government’s new test for migrants.

    42. You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says “cobber”.

    43. And you will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand.

    Happy Australia Day.

  • A patch of Green

    rather, im looking for one in sydney…it really is a concrete jungle, high office blocks and sandstone relics, oh and Id forgotten how hilly it is. If Melbourne is damp then sydney is mildew…imagine carlton on a high slope and rotting and thats inner city sydney for you. fascinating, but my pics so far are failry undistinguished ones of tourists taking pics on the manly ferry (overheard conversation..”yes we have a house in mexico too” )though i did get some nice ones of the sun coming up over the ocean at collaroy (kind of like mount eliza if mount eliza wasnt on a bay)…the headland overlooking the ocean at collaroy is magnificent. It occurred to me today that everyone in sydney thinks of themselves as queenslanders…how odd…and they really do have naff conversations on buses about buying property by the sea. Took some time out from the tourista grind at bondi junction…everyone there looked like they were in showbiz of some kind…found the waverley library where the internet access thing blocks blogger…wasnt impressed…on the other hand the new (5 months old) customs house library (city of sydney libaries –opposite circular quay) won’t let you join if you arent a ratepayer but will let you use internet, and wont sting you $2 for access to email the way everyone else seems too. What is it with the charging for email? So strange to be on a computer and not be able to forward stuff…also i cant open more than one window at the customs house lib so cant post pics ….grrrr….
    Saw the uni of nsw (its near randwick racecourse), went past the sydney cricket ground and the sydney girls school…or was that high? saw the australian museum…its for natural history…and wandered up kingsford…near maroubra…kind of like a downmarket collingwood…Felt I should really hop on a ferry to parramatta but didnt have the energy.
    Tomorrow its the botanic gardens, the powerhouse museum, wandering around the rocks if its not too hot and maybe a ferry to watsons bay

  • saw my first frost on the grass this morning (yes im rusticating in an outer outer south eastern suburb) and some bright red and green parrots…i think from mem they are called musk lorikeets…so pretty
    spent 2 hours getting telstra dialup to work on a prepaid phone and 8 calls to tech support then realised dialup is just too painful. but it wasted the morning nicely. morning walks checking out the leaf situation on the trees, the latest display in the op shops and bus trips nicely timed to catch the schoolkids on their way home wherein i caught a beautiful vignette yesterday at the local mall bus station….a tall blonde guy and a short long haired blonde girl…say 17? she walked up to the perimeter of his personal space and stood there trying to look unthreatening….a look of intense pain and embarrassment crossed his face as he refused to turn and look at her…i wondered if there was a history. She seemed to know what to do as she turned and twirled off to a seat, hop skipping and jumping like a 5 year old in the playground. Another boy about the same age joined her as they pretended to play hopscotch. Finally the tall blonde guy got over his moment and turned and threw them a friendly comment. She likes you dummy!@ I wanted to signal but what could I do. I was just a middle aged lady with glasses watching from the bus, and besides I had a turtleneck on.